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Sierra / Matt

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[January 01, 2021 @ 10:37am]

Most of my entries are friends only




love matt:thegirl
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[March 23, 2007 @ 3:34pm]
wooooooah so it's been like a year since I've written my thoughts down like this.


shiiiiiiiiiit.


anyway.

college. not for me.

taking online classes and traveling the world netx year.

moving back to tc in a few weeks.

yep.

still typical stoner me.
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[September 02, 2006 @ 7:27pm]
cops have been at place once before school year,
once last night, first week of school.

congratulations.

Monday begins 30 days.
30 business days.
Comment

[August 10, 2006 @ 1:31pm]
yeah so summer was nuts,
didn't write as much as I should have.

I got in a knuckle fight with my bro,
did shrooms and got a kitten, moved out,
went to chicago for pitchfork festival,
falling down drunk- didn't get in the first day,
banged myself up,
stayed at ry's g rents for a weekish,
moved back to central- no electricity at ryans,
found an apartment, move in this weekend hopefully,
bought a plannr, and taking care of business.


shits whack, but I'm lovin' it.
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[July 20, 2006 @ 3:57am]
oh my goodness goodnight byes and gentlemen?
Comment

[July 20, 2006 @ 3:51am]
scene revolt!

took out some piercings tonight.

'-ive been working on getting my hair back to normal.




this crazy shit is ridiculous.


whatever man- it's not me.


I just got fucked up for the last time tonight,

I got some soco onehundy with my bro-
lost my new kiteen
(explain later but I'm sure it'll die)

and now you know-
I've just been havin too much fun.

so good night byes and gentlem.n
that's correct, gentlem.n
Comment

[June 27, 2006 @ 6:46am]
Last night I punked out and didn't do my philosophy.
went and smoked with Arlon instead.

pretty much fun.
his room mate andy does some sweet ass paintings too.

anyways, thought nates car died when I borrowed it,
turned out I was so stoned it was just in park.
Also, I gave the cab 20 dollars last night/
luckily I at least didn't get a ticket on the car.

anyways,
I had to 40's fromlastnight.

so I am drinking them,
then tanning,
then going for a bike ride,
then doing school work,
and then , I don't know.

anyways.

40 deep, let's go.
Comment

[June 15, 2006 @ 10:26am]
I'm writing in this thing more often.

before this summer at the end of the semester,
I read last summer in here, and the end of my senior year.

and I realized alright livejournal IS gay-
but reading back on your life is pretty cool.



so continueing,
I finished my philosophy homework,
I have to post two easy ass topics in a discussion board,
but no one else has done it so I'm afraid to go first.

same for the english discussion boards.

literally, I could reword other peoples answers and get credit,
because if it's right it's right it's wrong it's wrong.

which is actually what we are talking about in ethics right now, haha..
that's actually really funny.


no WONDER HE DOESN'T GRADE THE PAPERSQ!

DUUDE I SEEEE!

alright so yeah.

been s,moking.

folded my laundry.

made my bed.

vacuumed adn swept.

took out beer cans, haha.. only a couple geeze.

organized a little bit.

tonight I'm getting a bike light.
tomorrow I'm going to start tanning- or maybe saturday.
Sunday I'm getting the day off- and going to the mall,
and getting vitamins, and whatever I want with change.

gotta keep on doing some shit for english- it's really easy.
sunday I'm going to do most of my philosophy shit,
and try actually reading the book for the assignment I just did.
I just found the answers, I didn't have time to READ it.
so yeah.

it's pretty simple though.
the first chapter confused me,

but I was after all high the whole time.

anyways, time to shower and go to work,
I'll get home around 5.

yesss. things are going good.

could be better, but it always can- just like it can get worse.

so why matter?

anyways. things are going alright.

(:
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[June 13, 2006 @ 10:23am]
shit's been busy.

I love the movie waiting, it is, well awesome-

and reminds me of where I'm at in life.

odddddd.

working all the time, going to school.

things are going alright.

wrote down my assignments for the week,
did my schedule for the next few weeks,
got my bugit figured out.

Ryan came up for the weekend, we had fun.
I bought alot of stuff.

I like to spend money, alot,
I like working for money,
and I like going to school- going into debt with money.

also the video at the end of waiting is hillarious.

yes, yes indeed.

So my Job at Rancho grande is doing well,
I like it alot.

I guess in July shit gets mad crazy around there.

I need to quit going to work stoned,
I keep screwing up orders,
and getting along with people better,
not much of a tradeoff,

but not being annoyed by the waitresses is good.

all of them are just crazy, and nuts,
and way high strung when they get overwhelemed,
I am sooooo slow and mellow.

like evn when I have 7 tables with 4 of them -
completely fucked up.

mellow.

annnnnnyways,

so I'm going to do some things before I go to work 12-4


then I'm doing laundry.

then do homeowkr.

then organze shit, and go to bed,
as early as possssible


ps,
yesturday I realized I'm going to be 20 soon.

blargh.
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[May 29, 2006 @ 5:16am]
alright- mind you that I'm drunk, a little.


but this boy Ryan- deserves to hear what I have to say about him.


I remember, last winter before semester break and before that,
I begged him to listen to how I felt about him, to take me seriously,


and then he dated me and we fell in love/
love besides love for our friendship.







but I love him,
I really do.

I don't think he understands,


he has told me how he thinks he loves me more than I do him-

and yet he forgets those winter nights in the study room,


with those screens blasted out.

how we both were so depressed with our freshman blues looking out the window-

not saying out loud what we were REALLY thinking as we looked down,

how when I called him after my mother in that one dry spot-
when it was raining and some how there was one dry spot as a sat and cried in it,
so depressed,

how when my best friend told me she was pregnant and she couldn't get an abortion because of ...

some things...
and how I knew she wasn't ready for it dropping out of school at seventeen,

how I wrote her a song- and read it to Ryan,
really bearing myself in front of someone other than sam and my parents,
breaking down on my bunk bed in sobs.



for the first time in my life.
( I don't think he ever knew the gravity of it )

how when we bought ipods and the cmu bookstore together-
how he shed tears to me about his family problems,


how we have been thru so much..

how


that first time I slept in his bed,
after drinking forties in my dorm-
and dropping the trash all over adn then picking it up


I remember ryan becaus eyou were there.


and deciding to walk to his dorm wraped around a blanket instead of a jacket-

"cause I think it's way cool- but not really but yes cause it's cold out"

yeah- I remember quotes from the early days.







I just- really love him him- more than he knows, and now with school over till fall,


I once again feel like he thinks he loves me more than I love him,



and it's not true.


I used to laugh at people talking about being forever, and highschool sweethearts,

but when I see him old and wrinkly and I the same- it doesn't seem bad at all,


I'm not getting all oldfashioned romantic-

I'm just saying I love this man- and he doesn't know it.

we say it to eachother- and I treat him with such sincerity-

but I don't know if he will ever REALLy know.




his computer broke down for mostly forever-

I really don't know if he'll ever read this- I wish he would-


until then- I'll shed tears- until he knows, my pain-
my pain- because he doesn't know how much I love them.

sincere diary-
end transmission






and most honestly ps,
I love me in his arms, I love his hair on my skin,
I love his eyes looking at me and his nose against mine,
and I lvoe the shape of his mouth when he makes faces at me.


besides him- most of all I miss his face,
in bed with me- waking me up in morning.

I miss him so much- my waking thought and my thoughts before every sleep consist of him...


but I'm nt like that.










I'm so stoic.
I'm so tough,
I'm so not that girl,
I'm so the GUY IN EVERY REALTIONSHIP.

but he is a man- and he took the pants.

and I love him.
and I miss him.
and I want him in my ed right now.



and I want to scream it to the mountain tops.


that I lvoe this man- Ryan West
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[May 28, 2006 @ 10:53am]
I was in a head on collision last night,
Body: I was biking back from a show on the bikepath- like booking it.

so fast.

and so was this other dude from the red mesa grill, SOOOOOPER FAST.

we didn't see eachother because it ws the wooded section where it was like, pitch black.

I saw him right before we hit eachother, head on.


both of our bikes were fixable but completely totalled,


chains off, steeringbar backwards, wires pulled, seat re adjusted, brakes readjusted, shifted gears. MANY DENTS, bicycle spokes were ripps from my wheel. (lol- jesus_)


I got knocked out, I saw stars when we hit,

and don't remember hitting the ground, and then like was realy dizzy when I got up.


I hurt my hand, and my knees real bad,

and theres a giant bump on the back of my head and a cut, I think I blasted the pavement with my head.


no helmet man- I'm too hardcore.

anyway,




so he says he's biking back from work as a bartender at red mesa, and I asked if they were hiring- cause it's aan AWESOME restraunt that brings in alot of cash. and he said yeah- and I could use him as a reference,


WHICH IS AWESOME.


anyways,

today y entire body hurts,

how ever I landed killed.

my finger though- the one next to my pinkiy is twice the size it should be and discolored, I think I jacked it bad- I can't move it either.


anyways.


my head on collision story. even though it was on a bike, I swear it was just a bad as a car accident.
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[May 27, 2006 @ 1:31pm]
I am hung over,

last night I made an ass of myself.


I cried wasted because I wanted this old dog.


Ucle carl said I can't drink liquor on the prop anymore.

I agree.



aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanyways.


going to a show today adn meeting up w. myspace Kayla.

I'm very excited.

and MIKE IS GOING TO BE THERE!
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IMPORTANTLY AWESOME THING HAPPENED TODAY! [May 26, 2006 @ 4:17pm]
so yeah- just got hired at job number two.


I either hear small children in the woods/
or a dying animal right now.

interesting.

riding my bike back from landing the new job,
I found a yellow butterfly, like the monarchs, but yellow.


It was soooooooooooooooo close to the road,
I made cars swerve so not to hit me while rescueing it.


I slammed my bike brakes so hard theres a skid mark in th drive way,


must have looked like a fool.

anyways,

so it actually crawld into my hand,
I think it was in shock adn was nipped by a car,

part of it's wing was torn.

I started walking all the way up my drive way,
to take a picture,

but right beforeI got to my camper,
it flew straight in the air.



It was so cool though,
it stayed by itself un covered on my hand
for a few minutes.


the most amazing thing evr.

a butterfly in my hands.

so cool.

I am going to have flowers in my yard when I grow up,
that draw bumblebees, and butterflies,
and hummingbirds, they are so beautiful owhen theyre perched.


yea.

so two jobs.
both serve alcohol and ethnic foods.

hmmmmmmmmm

yup.

this weekend- bout to get wasted,
while I don't have any cares in the world.





mt, biking tonight,

and I need to ask my uncle if he can buy a cushion for me,
my boney ass can't handle the seat.



sincer diary,

Matt
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[May 25, 2006 @ 9:23pm]
so I go to the interview and the broad wasn't there.


uh hu. yeah


I've been talking to a cat who works there too, and I guess people make alright money,,

gah...

so interview tomorrow.

calling ahead of time this time.
flakes.



anyways, the windows are open in my camper,
andnnnnnnnnnnnow-

the bugs are veyr loud outside,

they sound really sweet though.

so yeah.

ry is going on vacation tomorrow he'll be gone for a while,
he left me a list of things to look up.


re are reducing the scale of our adventures,

cancelling a few concerts and sticking to the important ones,

so we can rock out and do it right.




I have to look for a greyhound bus to go to roch. hills
for tbs.

gas is soooooooooo expensive,

plus I miss the bus.


I have a buss pass up here, and I damn near have no where to go.
my classes are online.

and I can bike to rancho grande and anywhere else I'd work.












hmmmmmmmmmm


plus I didn't figure on getting the social life up here up and running,



but after a very bored day today-
I'm really wanting soem friends up here to call.


but alas, they have died or moved away,

or I don't know where to start looking.

awesome.

anyway-

I'm trying to wake up earlier now a days,




go mountain bikeing first thing in the morning,
before the bugs get out,
while the morning is damp and the air is thick and wet.

lol thick and wet.


anyway.

goodnight diary.

love,
Sierra
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[May 24, 2006 @ 2:46pm]
gotta job

drank wasted because of antibiotics


bout to shit my pants
waiting for summer to get rolling.

I still feel like a bla


prolly a bla hangover.
Comment

[May 23, 2006 @ 10:06am]
two job interviews today

and alot of business to do,

we'll see how it all pans out.
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[May 13, 2006 @ 11:58am]
this was still up from last night




I feel like the only human being awakw tonight-
the sun is already about to come up-
it's been a form of dusk for a while.


I'm listening to fabulous muscles-xiuxiu


reminds me of when Ry andI were walking around pearce and anspach




way after when we should have been I suppose-o let him choose the songs on my ipod-


and so came forth my appreciation for xiuxiu














ps,aesop rock or soemth- is at pitch fork

I know my bro and uncle will like pitchfork-

there is some convincing to behalf-


alright,
my eyeids are faling on eachother.
I don/t evenknow if I'm typing-

ps- I guess this kid I went to schoo with-
NICK BEEBE

was SHOT IN THE FACE and killedlast night at 3 PM

another person I know dieing- good thing he wasn't a close friends-

but my friends and I know just as well as the police who did it- and.. it's not looking good for a very popular family.

yerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp




drama in the small town of Marion


(ps=Three brain is awesome.)

.... oh my goofnrdd















RYAN CALL ME VERY SOON/like wj
em you get up. I love--ve you!
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[May 13, 2006 @ 5:30am]
so my first night.. well I guess morning in the camper....

it's now 5ish...

and I'm still all fucked up-took me FOREVER to smoke that last Jay- goodness.

I need Ryan here- I feel like I can't sleep-

i guess that's what it is.Npw that after a fucking YEAR

we can say we're together like REALLY,
I can't be without him.

I miss him so badly-




ESPECIALLY WHEN I'M DRUNK.
lol- come on now dear EJAY I'm noy stupid and neither are you..drunk equals me=Ryan=duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuue it.


yeahyeah crkacahjackI'machimeyyocrackbarrekk ohyeahhhhHHHHH!


alright-

so I am silly.




















anyways, I REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY miis Ryan,

a howl= haha [whole] lot.


<3miss metal(=I love you mr.bubblegum)
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[May 13, 2006 @ 4:04am]
it's 4 ish correct?

yes it is-



and by that I am meaning that you wouldn't believe the size of the Jay I am about to - something.;


alright;

ps,

big day today- I told Ryan that I wanted to be with HIM...ONLY right now-

I have my ap(p?)rehensions right now and always for a while (oxymoron)

[EEEEEEEfffffY,eye]\\

o yeash-

I love my friends-

especially-SAMMANTHA-E-W. Ally, ANDREW!, Vallery *Nathan maybe-jk, Amanda, Aaraon, Nathan, (brother)Nathan, [parents duh], Jessica Mckenzie (even though I havn't spoken to her in forever- I still love) her),




qqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqand

I love.

Ryan












and now I am about to smoke a jay by myself { }


thatbig- I suspect it is bigger


I used many papers.

hhah///



mua.. haha...

Jesus I missRyan

(Brand New- Play crack the sky)

I miss him even more


i will be up for a while-

but if he were here-

I would be asleeps- until he moved his arms


,


i could cry waiting for him




















I miss you,
more than I could even know-or reflect.

I love you Ry- Sierra
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[May 12, 2006 @ 7:30pm]
I just did soemthing stupid to my livejournal with the ads.


they tricked me.


anyways-


I moved to Traverse City,


heres to the summer.







by the way- I now live in a camper!


hungryyyyyyyyyy
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